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The Night Before Implementation

December 11, 1996

'Twas the night before implementation
and all through the house,
not a system was working,
not even a mouse.
The programmers hung by their tubes in dispair,
in hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of transactions danced in their heads.
When out of the Monitor came such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a guru programmer (with a sixpack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
and he turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
as he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
On Update! On Inquiry! On OOP! On Delete!
On Sequel! On TimeOut! On Methods Complete!
His eyes were glazed-over; fingers nimble and lean,
from weekends and nights in front of a screen.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Turning Specs into code; Then turned with a jerk;
And laying his finger upon the "RUN" key,
The system came up and it worked *perfectly*.
The Updates updated; Deletes, they deleted;
The Inquires inquired, the Closing completed.
He tested each whistle, and tested each bell
with nary an edit, for all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
The client's last changes were even included.
And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt.

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