Feel

i feel

a little dead lately,
like i’m missing the point in a lecture.

someone is telling me their life story,
but i am not listening.
my eyes glisten over.

selfish, greedy bastard i am.
where did all this hatred come from?

where did the impatience, the greed, the lust, the evil come from?

i said goodbye to god a while ago.
god wanted to be my friend,
but i think i must have bored him off
as i was talking one day about how great i was
and about how all of my thoughts were so interesting
he just left.

he had some things to say to me,
but i couldn’t listen
since i was so busy talking.

and i’ve been trying to explain life and computers
to the people who should have been teaching me.
i manage to maybe help my elders along,
when all the while they were trying to help me.

at the slightest word of criticism,
i turn around and recoil,
packing all of my offenses to defend my every action:
HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT I AM WRONG!

…without even trying to consider
the possibility that they have something to say.

I am pure!
I am all powerful!
Bow down, ye gods, before me!

(cries the little boy in the wilderness)

I smite all those who would oppose me
cast aside those who love me
spend my days immersed in knowledge
knowledge that does not lead to wisdom.

And I spend my days as a fool,
the blind leading the blind.

an antichrist for the new world order
another hypocrite in cyberspace.