What's happened since I last checked into the news section three months ago? Wow. My server went down, I'm teaching a class to high-school students about startups, I'm a section leader for the Intro. to CS class here at Stanford, and I've figured out what to do with the next year of my life. The latter part may need some explaining.

You see, starting this fall, I'm going to engage in manual labor for a year. I'm going to plant trees, chop down old and sick ones, haul heavy stones around, rake, etc. I'm joining the California Conservation Corps, which is kind of like Americorps, which is in turn similar to the Peace Corps, but only in the US.

Now why in God's name would I go out and choose to do manual labor for 8-9 hours each day only to be paid minimum wage, when I could land a cushy job at any number of startups here in Silicon Valley? The answer is that I need some perspective before I begin my productive life in earnest. I also need a break.

I have been growing in wisdom sufficiently to get to the point where I realize that I really haven't got any at all. I can be about as foolish and hotheaded as they come, and don't really have the best of grips as to who I really am as a person, what makes me happy, or how I should best relate to other people. (I got an "F" in self-control in 3rd grade.) I want to be mature and respectable, but I also want to enjoy myself and live a happy life. I have no idea as of yet exactly where this balance will fall. If I were to jump right into producing things without knowing if what I was doing was good or bad, I would run the risk of being a detrimental influence upon the world.

Being as I desire to be a good person and to be a positive influence on the world, I figure I should take some time off to contemplate life, the universe, and everything. (42? Nah.) I owe it to the world, if not to myself.

The second point is that I need a break of sorts. You see, I've been entrenched in high-tech for the last 5 years straight, summers included. I haven't had time to relax and to enjoy myself and discover myself outside of an online identity. The computer has consumed my life. A rough calculation tells me that I am spending at least five hours silent in front of a computer for every one that I spend with people. This is not healthy; it's not how people were generally designed to function. Russian baby orphans, unable to be touched, hugged, or held on a regular basis, grow up stunted; less intelligent and less happy. People need interaction; I need to be with people.

When I've been computing for too long, I lose my ability to relate to people in a comfortable fashion. Every "hello!" feels strained, a waste of time, something taking me away from the everpresent desire to be seated in front of a terminal; reading, learning, typing, and coding.

I don't write poems any more. The ones you see on this site are old, from high school. When I find myself away from the computer, my old creative self springs back to life, resurrected. New ideas, songs, and poetry come to mind quickly. Clearly I am lacking a healthy balance and jumping into a high-tech job to work 60-70 hour weeks would not act in a restorative fashion.

I think that my main problem here at school is convergence. My problem is that the place where I sleep, code, write, think, and do homework is all in the same 2-3 meter radius. In high school I had a certain spatial (and hence mental) separation between my different tasks; at school I was working. In my living room I would study. In the computer room I would program. On the soccer field I would exercise and play. In my bedroom I would sleep. Ultimately, I think that being in a home once more, a home of my own, will solve this problem.

I am amused by people who ask me "How do you do it all, David?" because they assume that I do do it all...that I am successful in each and every of my endeavors and that I am getting stellar grades at school. Neither of these is remotely true. I am amazed that people put up with me and my incompetence, but somehow they do. I think it says a lot more about the patience and kindness of the human race than it says about me being a competent individual.

So I'm taking some time off to think about life and to try and become a better person. I'm looking to better understand myself, others, and my world, and I don't think that a startup would help me with that right now. In the meanwhile, I'm going to try and actually graduate from Stanford.

I've really enjoyed my stay here, but it's getting to be time to move on. I went to a party two nights ago with a lot of freshmen, and it gave me the somewhat awkward feeling that a high schooler would get going to a junior-high function; the feeling that while all that was fun that time has progressed and that there are now other ways to enjoy one's self -- other circles one should be running in.

I'm really looking forward to chopping down trees in Tahoe.